Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category
Hey, I love the New Orleans Saints. And in honor of the playoff game this Saturday, I offer this decor to be burned on the altar of – well, I don’t know. But it should be probably be burned, somewhere.
Ripped from the Times-Picayune headlines “Living the Who Dat dream in Destrehan”
While I want our local team to get to the Superbowl (Geaux Saints!) I don’t want to encourage this decorating behavior. If you spot any of the above symptoms in the home of someone you know, there is a hotline: 1-800-WTF-OMG1.
It’s handy to have, just in case.
What is the concept at work here?
To take a drawer and hang all of its contents on a wall?
Clearly the people that live in this imaginary Pottery Barn house have a desperate need to see at all times, with a single glance:
- their scissors
- a bingo card
- one photograph of pancakes
- every key that they own
- 30 precisely sharpened pencils
Or maybe its is a low tech version of this:
Either way, I am amused that the first item on the imaginary shopping list is “Arugula”
I have told myself I would go thrifting since I started this blog. Today, I had my mind set of some tables or small chests that would serve by the bedside. I’d even do some [shudder] painting or refinishing if needed. So I Googled and mapped out a little circuit though Orleans and Jefferson Parish. My best prospect was my first one – Canal Hotel Liquidator – reselling all manner of things, mostly gently used from when the local hotels renovate. Fun ideas for other projects (Thanks for the tip, Mitchell!) No luck on bedside tables, however. It was on to my next stop.
It turned out The Plant Gallery was on my way – I picked out two new well-priced houseplants and chuckled in the boutique part of the store over a Zebra melamine tray that was marked $250.00 – I was tempted to ask if that was a mistake! Ahem. It’s um, melamine.
From there it was a short and fast drive to Harahan where the Jefferson flea market was just waiting for me with bed tables galore!!!
But oh – what’s that I see in this strip mall? TJ Maxx? Well I never. So many house bloggers have found gems at Chez Maxx that I had to stop in. I was unfortunately not rewarded – and I keep an open mind and look for any creative opportunity.
Next door was something called Kirkland’s Home. I had a vague memory of this store from the 90’s – couldn’t hurt to take a peek, could it?
It actually hurt. The music was loud and the junque (I’ll add a -que out of generosity of spirit) was even louder. Not what I remembered. But then the 90’s are a little hazy for me… I do seem to remember Bill Clinton.
Well, I hopped in the truck and sprinted to the Jefferson Flea Market. 85 vendors! And this happens every weekend? How could I have missed this phenomenon?!? My own Round Top right in my own back yard!!!
As a representative of the Greater New Orleans Area I will now personally apologize to Eddie Ross for the Jefferson Flea Market (Eddie came in March for a shopping trip and Home Show installation and presentation – I met him briefly at the Vamp’s soiree!).
I apologize for the fact that the Jefferson Flea Market is an all-out God-forsaken black hole of a dust-mite necropolis and I will never, NEVER step foot in that place again. But, BUT, if I am ever looking for acrylic crochet LP covers, or a single representative of every mis-matched dish known to human-kind, or something like, like… this…
Then I know where to go. Whew…
You know I’m a fan. You have kept me prepped since the 80’s. Your paints color my walls. Your towels are still perfectly navy blue after 4 years of weekly washing. I understand that you are a giant conglomerated-omnimedia type thing now and it’s hard to keep track of every little detail, but may I mention one thing that has come to my attention?
And you should see the sheets – even worse. Can I call your attention, dear reader, to the lovely smooth duvet cover beneath these hideous, wrinkled messes? It’s from Restoration Hardware – and it came out of the same dryer as the pillows and sheets.
Now I know that there are some people in the world out there that are interested in things like ironing sheets. I know that they even make fancy little scented sprays that once can delicately spritz across the linens while ironing them to make them small like – I don’t know – Provence.
I am not one of those people. Heck, my housekeeper would laugh me out of my own house if I asked her to iron the sheets. Perhaps these will mellow with age… but I’m disappointed. They pick up a perfect little taupe high note in the paisley duvet.
So please Ralph, pay attention. For the sake of your loyal fans.
Dear PB: How has this thing been selling for you?
Really a steal at $399.00. Having installed my share of light fixtures lately, any person interesting in buying this lighting object should: A) Have their head examined – not only does one have to wire this hideous creation to the ceiling, they must then affix its ten tentacles as well or B) Demand that installation be included in the price.
I actually have nightmares about this thing. Here it is ‘in situ:’
Wisely, the imaginary people that live in this Pottery Barn home have decided to install it on their back porch. I can think of no more appropriate place.
Okay. That’s out of my system, now. I can say that like a few Pottery Barn touches around the house (but not too much of it!) and I like them more when I find them on sale. (I truly love a sale.) I can only think of one thing ever that I purchased at PB for full price… those little crown molding shelves they make? You know? They never go on sale. Shoot.
Anyway, there is a PB on the first floor of my office tower (which is connected to the Canal Place mall) so I get to cruise through there once a week or so. I rarely buy anything but it’s a fun break. But yesterday, I found what I consider to be a real steal. All the pillow covers were 30% off already marked down prices, so I found these cute little numbers at $13.99 a piece. I had no guilt whatsoever – I pounced.